This is something I’ve been asking myself the last few weeks. I don’t mean the type of runner of run/walker vs runner or jogger vs. runner but I mean am I really a runner?
6 years ago when I started running it was to try to do something active but it was also with a friend of mine. When she stopped after our first race I decided I needed to find new running friends. That I was able to find online through a great group called Running of the Ears. There I met not only some of the most wonderful people but also made what I would consider some lifelong friends. I mean they even came to our wedding only a year after knowing us. I remember having a conversation with Jon about asking Bob to be in the wedding and him saying, “I dunno, I don’t really know him and I’m not sure if he wants to really be friends” Well, 5 years later and their bromance is stronger than ever.
I met some of the best women I could have met and can happily say that not all of our activities revolve around running. Hell, I’m even spending Thanksgiving with half of them because they have become our adopted family here in Florida. We’ve done running trips and now have solid friendships with people not even near by (thank you internet)
I say all of this because now that I am running without these people the drive is gone. So, I sit here contemplating if I enjoyed running to run or if I enjoyed running because of the people. On the eve of my 16 miler, my first long run without my running partner, I wonder if I would have signed up for these races if I had realized that it wouldn’t be any fun to run alone.
One of my goals over the next 2 months (until the marathon) is to find out if I actually love running or if I just did it for the social aspects. I don’t mean meeting up with people in a group and then setting off on our own. I actually find that to be more depressing. “Hey everyone welcome, enjoy running by yourself”. But do I really enjoy the lacing up and heading out. Would I miss it if I didn’t do it. I really don’t know the answer and that’s what I want to figure out. Do I still enjoy racing or would I prefer to find an activity that kept me fit enough to still run sometimes. Do I like to just run to just run with no goal in mind?
Ever had the same feeling?